As many of you know, I’ve been doing this for a long time. In fact, my career started mainly by accident. A beautiful princess got herself captured by a giant ape (who, for some reason, was named ‘Donkey’) and he was chucking barrels everywhere, so I though ‘I’d better help her’. Eventually, I saved the princess and, once local media got hold of the story, became an International darling.

Though I was flattered, I thought the fame would turn out to be fleeting. I enjoyed all that was on offer: girls, drugs, and riches, all with the mindset that it was a temporary thing. Somewhere down the line, I think it was between Late Night With Conan O’Brien and THAT Hollywood Squares appearance (I didn’t know my pants were off, honestly), my agent decreed that I should change my name from ‘Jumpman’ (which they felt was too ‘ethnic’) to Mario, which more Americans could relate to. I went with it for professional reasons, though it really upset my parents. So, by the time the game they made with my ‘brother’ Luigi (my actual brother Marco was furious that they never offered him the role) was released and the inevitable ‘Mario Bros’ Movie had rolled around, I was Mario.

I found myself playing up to the Stereotype, ‘Mario’ became a sort of insane alter ego, one who could date anyone, ingest anything and never needed to sleep, diet or exercise. Looking back on it now, I was foolish. I’m a plumber for Anyway, that’s why I’m so excited to talk to you about this new adventure! With my new 3D game I can be completely free. For the first time, you can see my fully rendered 3D home as it really looks. With all my friends included, I’m just about ready for the adventure of my life! (Not to mention the comeback – those gambling debts don’t pay for themselves) so why not order your copy today!?God sake, I had no business getting involved in that King Cooper fiasco, but at the time I thought I could get away with anything. By the time I publicly fell out with my cousin Wario and my problems with mushrooms had become public knowledge, my image as the squeaky-clean, kid friendly hero had been blown to bits, which is a shame, because I love kids. In fact, I have seven of my own (though four of them don’t return my calls, sigh).

‘Super Mario 3D Land’ is just the tonic for your winter blues, its simple, iconic and maddeningly fun! I’ve worked hard to make this one the best Mario game ever, but only you can judge for yourselves. In addition, I’ve returned to my first love, the Theatre, and am taking ‘Super Mario 3D Land Live’ around the West End for the next several weeks. Watch out for Marco, finally playing the role of ‘Luigi’ and my girlfriend, Peach, who designed the costumes and props. Ciao!

Get Super Mario 3D Land for the Nintendo 3DS at the best price we can find here